What can I see when I look into your eyes?
This is not the first time I tried, and this will not be my last either. Often my own eyes deceived me, for many times I discover that my own senses are not mine to control - or is it that it is me who is not humble enough to admit the limitations and inadequacies of my own senses?
Of all my friends, you are the one I find that I can never understand, but on the other hand, you are the one who I find is the most precious and whom I can never live without.
You are real, yet you can appear as an illusion before me. You are alive, yet I can still forget that you even exist. You are everywhere, yet I can still fail to notice you.
But above all, and regardless of how hard it is, I will always end up seeking you when all seemed to fail, and you will always somehow be there for me.
To love me, to care for me, and to let me know that you are here, in ways no one has ever done before - and you will never fail to amaze or surprise me every time you did that.
How frustrating it is to live in a flesh with only five senses when actually six is needed.
How hard it is for me to accept the fact as an imperfect yet a perfectionist being, that I will never be good enough for you - yet to be glad that you will continue to love me anyhow.
You never fail to amaze me, even when the truth is; I know that you can do far more than what you have shown to me.
I do not even know who you really are, but somehow you have given me enough reasons to trust you with my life and everything else that is in my hands - and you accept it knowing that my trust alone is broken and needed mend. You just took it all no matter how few is offered.
Such is how I live my life everyday together with a friend like you. No wonder people often find me very hard to cope with.
And I know you will not be offended with my lousy sense of humour.
Again, I never really understand you, but yet I still feel the intimacy with you whenever I can feel your awesome presence even when I can only see but that that is around me.
Sigh. In the end I still doubt what I see before me - because I cannot see what I cannot see, and so is my touch, smell, hear and taste.
And to be honest, I still cannot really see what is there when I look into your eyes - because I can’t see them, God.
But somehow… Somehow I know very well, that your eyes would be the most beautiful pair of eyes I will ever see, and all that I seek will be revealed when I finally get to look into your eyes…
Because I have faith, and that is all I need. =)
From the wind: to a dear friend.
